By RODNEY HO/ firstname.lastname@example.org, originally filed Sunday November 29, 2015
In late August, Cynthia Bailey allegedly kicked Porsha Williams in the gut, landing Porsha in the hospital. This was reported by the tabloids at the time and I threw my two cents in, too. Now we get to see what happened on the latest “Real Housewives of Atlanta.”
But wait. We only see what leads up to it. We’ll have to find out next week exactly what transpired.
Still, we do know that Cynthia was drunk on a boat trip on Lake Lanier Kenya Moore hosted for Cynthia to make her forget about her marital issues. Clearly, Cynthia really tried too hard to forget. She thought Porsha said “Whatever b****” a bit too cavalierly for Cynthia’s taste and got angry in a way we rarely see Cynthia. (Who knew she was an angry drunk?)
The argument ended up being something you’d more likely see in a dark bar at 2 a.m. Cynthia thought Porsha was being disrespectful and dismissive. Porsha said they had spent the entire boat trip calling each other the b-word playfully, that this was no different. “You’re too sensitive!” Porsha said.
Cynthia first walked away. Kenya came along late and suggested Porsha apologize. Porsha, not in a mood to apologize, came over and tried to calm Cynthia down without truly apologizing. That didn’t help matters. “You’re fake as f***!” Porsha said, once she got tired of trying to mollify Cynthia.
And things get violent in cliffhanger manner.
The rest of the hour was just a long set up to this event, as is often the case when something “big” is about to happen.
The thematics were about “shade,” a phrase I only learned about watching this show over the years. I’m not even sure when “shade” became common but it’s now an overarching word for people making arch comments about someone else, typically in a passive-aggressive way.
And to make matters worse, the women talk all the time about how much they hate shade, yet they are all inclined to do it. It’s the oxygen of the show. Some can take it as well as they can dish it. Others? Not so much.
Watch Kenya get all self-righteous about people being shady when that’s all she seems to do all day long. Somehow, she and Sheree Whitfield in this episode keep throwing shade about each other’s homes but stay oddly civil – for now.
But Kenya does not like newbie Shamea Morton finding out her “shampoo” at her launch party was water. And Shamea kept bringing it up. This led Kenya to say, “You don’t come for the queen, honey… I’m going to have the captain escort you off the boat.” Before she gets a chance to do that, the Cynthia/Porsha fracas happens.
In other storylines:
- Kandi Burruss is considering a restaurant though she is hoping to slow down a bit now that she’s halfway through her pregnancy.
- Kim Fields doesn’t really have friends so as a new cast member of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” she has to become social, whether she wants to or not. She tells Phaedra Parks that she finds the women showing so much boobage annoying. “I miss class,” she said. Of course, she is on a reality show. Class isn’t what she signed up for. She knows that, right? Then she realizes she doesn’t have friends and starts crying. (She certainly needs someone to tell her about her crazy hair choices!) She later tries to befriend Kandi and compliments her over her successes, including her adult toy line. Kim does offer an interesting revelaiont: she doesn’t like underwear. (“I thought she’d be wearing grandma panties,” Kandi said.) At the boat party, Kim is uncomfortable with the drinking. (She doesn’t drink.) She even tries to hide away with a book. No way that’s going to work with these women!
- Cynthia’s friend Tammy comes along on the boat trip and seems annoying as Marlo Hampton. She tries to get Kandi to help her son out with his music. Kandi doesn’t know this woman and seems deeply disinclined. Curiously, Tammy’s son works with Bob Whitfield, Sheree’s ex husband. Will we ever see him again?
i didn’t mean it like that…
In other storylines: